Wednesday, August 20, 2008

PERSONALITY DISORDER

"Personality disorders are a group of mental disturbances defined by the fourth (1994) edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as "enduring pattern[s] of inner experience and behavior" that are sufficiently rigid and deep-seated to bring a person into repeated conflicts with his or her social and occupational environment. DSM-IV specifies that these dysfunctional patterns must be regarded as non-conforming or deviant by the person's culture, and cause significant emotional pain and/or difficulties in relationships and occupational performance. In addition, the patient usually sees the disorder as being consistent with his or her self image (ego-syntonic) and may blame others."

Hah, been wondering whether i am part of this symptom. Hoh. Paranoid.

Entah. I did not know what is the exact definition before. Aku main hentam je sebab I realised symptoms yang semacam pelik dalam diri sendiri. Uhhu. Apekah? Contohnya macam:

  • I know the fact that it is wrong to do certain things. But aku buat jugak. Maka perasaan dalam diri tu semacam begolak-golak. Kejap ke kanan, kejap ke kiri. It goes like, oh aku tak sepatutnya mcm ini. But why am i still doing this. It makes me rimas, rasa bersalah, takut, and kadang-kadang boleh menangis sebab aku sedar, but I am not strong enough to avoid it.

  • Aku adelah mungkin juga menghidapi obsessive-compulsive disorder. Because I am preoccupied with keeping order, attaining perfection, and maintaining mental and interpersonal control. Aku ti dak kesah untuk spend a great deal of time adhering to plans, schedules, or rules from which I will not deviate, even at the expense of openness, flexibility, and efficiency. Bermakna, aku akan cuba sedaya upaya utk follow apa yg telah aku plan, unless ia melibatkan hidup atau mati. Uhhu. Mengikut kajian jugak, pesakit obsessive-complulsive disorder ini are often unable to relax and may become "workaholics." Tapi aku adalah sudah mengubah cara hidup dan tidak workaholic lagi. Trima kasih.

  • Ada lagi satu jenis personality disorder yg dipanggil avoidance. Ini jugak semacam aku. Iaitu I am fearful of rejection and am shy away from situations or occupations that might expose my supposed inadequacy. Tapi ada ketika, aku berasa sangat confident. Tapi bila off-peak tu, aku mula rasa takut, risau, insecure and yg sewaktu dengannya.


Berdasarkan benda-benda camni, aku rasa macam personality disorder lah. But aku hentam keromo jer, tidaklah bermakna aku gi jumpa doctor and confirm aku ini berpenyakit. Uhhu. Tentang point pertama dalam list di atas itu, aku rasa it is more to hati kuat yg mampu menetukan tindakan. Macam ari tu ustaz shauqi tu kate, ada 5 elements dalam badan kita : jasad, roh, akal, nafsu dan hati. Roh yg menggerakkan jasad. Dan hati yg menentukan sama ada nak ikut akal atau nafsu. Sebab tu org tetua selalu cakap,pokok pangkalnya hati kan. Ehhe.

Hrmm sudah lah. AKu penat, tadi pagi jogging di treadmill sebelum gi kerja. Pastu ptg aku jogging lagi. Sgt paranoid dgn berat badan aku pada masa sekarang ini. Ini pun personality disorder jugak. Obsess nak kurus. Haha ;p

P/S Encik MNI telah pun balik ke Miri. Gonna miss him so much. Aku syg dia. Sgt ~

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